What Is The Real Story Blondie?
by Foxissofoxy
Summary: How did they meet? How do Rick and Michonne come up with a story to tell their children and Shane on how their relationship started. (au-ooc) This story is connected to Blondie and Natural Blonde. Puzzle piece writing style. One Shot.


"The truth of the story lies in the details."  
**― Paul Auster, The Brooklyn Follies**

* * *

"Oww!" Shane held on to his forearm after being struck by Michonne. "All I said is you look like a woman who has finally gotten laid. I know it ain't the case because you and I have yet to take it there. Once I get my shit together, I'm going to be your husband and sex the fuck out of you."

"First, you have to have shit to put together." Michonne placed Shane's preferred drink in front of him.

"I got this club off the ground. I got you serving at the bar. I think I am on my way to becoming irresistible."

"Do you have any idea how much I would cost you?" Michonne was referring to what it would take to sway her response to accept a proposal, including one of marriage. Shane was still the type of guy who didn't see any harm in continually flirting with other women or dabbling up skirts because it was a man's thing to do. He was a man. The type she wanted to avoid.

"What's going on?" Rick had stepped into the VIP area a few minutes after Michonne. He was trying to be just as inconspicuous as she.

"A threesome gone awry is all." Shane sighed. Shane felt something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it. What he could gauge from Michonne's demeanor was guilt, and his childhood friend looked flushed from possibly jacking off with some random in an inconspicuous corner of the nightclub. He thought the slight change was about the missing panties and having the panty thief in VIP.

Michonne pinched her brief college boyfriend before taking a seat at a small unoccupied sofa across from him.

"Damn it, Chonne." The pain still radiated.

"Threesome?" Rick was slightly taken aback by the suggestion. His curiosity clearly piqued.

"Not on your life or his." Michonne shot her remark towards Rick.

"I was asking for clarity, not suggesting." Rick clarified. He had dated two women in the past who were very open to threesomes. He wasn't necessarily opposed to the idea but somehow it never panned out in his favor, usually the women preferred each other and he was left as a spectator.

Rick had secretly hoped to find Michonne that night. He knew if she was going to be in attendance or bartending he wanted to know beforehand. Her number was saved in his contacts. It was only then he realized she had never given him her personal phone number.

"Underground Circus, Blondie speaking."

"Hi, Blondie. I need you to pass a message on to Michonne that I plan to make an appearance tonight. Tell her, I would have much preferred a much more intimate atmosphere over some dinner at this Italian restaurant nearby but since she didn't give me her REAL number, I will settle with meeting her at the Underground Circus."

"Who is this?"

"Rick."

"Rick?"

"How many does Michonne know?"

"Three to be exact."

"Of the three, which Rick am I?"

"Two of the three she knows on a professional level. One who lives in Houston and the other in Washington."

"The third one?"

"Is on the other end of this line requesting a message to be delivered to Michonne. Their misunderstanding evolved into something very personal, very private, though brief. An intimate acquaintance."

"Too brief. Sounds like you have second-hand knowledge."

"Possible."

"I was hoping for more of Michonne's time. What are the odds of that happening?"

"That depends on you and if your message can leave a lasting impression."

"Depends on me?"

"Yeah."

"What is your phone number?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to take you out on a proper date."

Michonne was secretly surprised by this turn of events. She was wrong in her assumptions. Her lady parts tingled and spoke and led from that point forward.

"(404)555-7777."

"There is absolutely no way you can get away tonight?"

"I had promised to man the bar or be prepared to if the main bartender doesn't show up."

Rick had grabbed a drink from the serving tray and sat next to Shane. He tried to seem disinterested by only engaging in short spurts of conversation with Shane. Rick had Michonne on sporadic ignore. His expertise at appearing aloof was on full display as he maintained his distance and disinterest. The moment Rick noticed some well-dressed guy take a seat next to Michonne, his full attention could not be diverted.

If only he could lip-read. Rick casually watched Michonne's interactions. The guy soon became a non-factor when Michonne was in mid-sentence, and Rick had her full attention. Her eyes had finally locked with his own. Rick hoped it conveyed or reminded her it was his body she was underneath atop his kingsize bed inside of his penthouse. And he could now add the lady's room that happened less than 30 minutes ago before sitting in VIP next to Shane.

It didn't take long for the crowd to grow on the outside of the VIP section, and the music took over more than ever. Rick was a sucker for the show she was putting on for him when she took the guy up on his offer to dance. Watching her shapely ass was absolutely mesmerizing.

Michonne was slightly bothered by Rick's lack of reaction to her dancing up and on the tall ginger. His name was Abraham, and his cologne was especially enticing the moment he sat next to her. She had immediately told him so. His amusement and instant attraction to her was noticeable to anyone watching, and Rick was watching. She had expected Rick to ask her to dance. He did not. Michonne didn't consider once that maybe he didn't know how to dance. The fact that he didn't intervene annoyed her to the point she wanted to kick herself for giving Rick her personal phone number earlier.

She felt the chill from his icy cold demeanor. Regret soon followed. Michonne had not only given Rick her phone number, but she also allowed him sexual access in the ladies' room once he arrived at the Underground Circus. And Michonne had granted Rick his- no kissing-even though she sensed he wasn't opposed to kissing her again. She hated now how her skin still burned from his kisses peppered along the back of her neck and shoulders. The way he turned her around, moving her short skirt up, thumbing her panties to the side, with a swift plow, after finger fucking her nice and slow to the point she didn't realize he had finessed a condom on his much larger member until the wrapper landed on the floor.

She felt like he took advantage of her sensibilities, and she had no one to blame for her thirsty ways caused by her self induced drought. She couldn't believe she allowed this particular friend of Shanes' to cloud her judgment. She was putty, and she didn't like it. She had to remain hardened, and the only way to do that was to shower Rick off of her. She had to leave. Her reaction was abrupt.

By the time Michonne made it to her car door, instead of locating her key fob, she was ready to aim her mace from the sounds of the heavier foot-falls speeding up from behind her. She froze in place.

"You drive a Mercedes?"

She was relieved to recognize his voice. She didn't turn to acknowledge him.

"Is that your reason for coming outside, to know what type of car I drive?"

"I took a wild guess between the Corvette next to it and the Lamborghini. You seem like a woman who would drive an AMG Mercedes."

"What do you want?" Michonne asked, unsure why she cared to know.

"I got what I thought I wanted inside of the ladies' room," Rick smirked.

"If that is your answer, you can fuck off!"

"You asked me what I want. I'm telling you what happened in the ladies' room wasn't ALL that I wanted. Right now, I am fucking starving and I really wanted you to join me down the street for some of the best Italian meatballs I have ever come across outside of Italy."

"You still want to eat?" Michonne was surprised by this.

"A late dinner with you, yes. I would also like to have some of your time. Not a quicky. Not in a place like a female stall. If we plan to do it again in such a place, I would only hope it is in your bathroom. Or mine. Maybe some sleep afterward."

"I don't think that is how hook-ups work." Michonne tried to help him clarify his intentions or think about what he was alluding to.

"Which part?"

"I don't know you."

"I don't know you."

"I want to keep it that way."

"Okay. No prying questions." Rick shrugged.

"Don't ask." Michonne insisted.

"Don't tell."

"Good."

"Good, we are in agreement. Now how can I be any clearer in saying I want to see you again?"

"You were very clear. I didn't necessarily believe you until now." Michonne pressed the handle for her door and the one on the passenger-side to unlock.

"You are the first woman who hasn't taken my words at face value."

"I am more swayed by action — nothing a man can say to make me change my views, the ever-changing roadmap paved with good intentions."

"Sounds like it doesn't take much to be your end game."

"What?"

"The restaurant is called Little Italy. It will be on the right."

"And after?"

"Take me to your place."

"What about your car?"

"My driver isn't here."

"How are you going to get home?"

"When you tell me to leave."

"Wow."

"In actuality, you have me for two days."

"Two whole days?"

"Two nights if you are up to it." He smirked.

"How do you know I don't have a man?"

"Is there something you want me to know? I mean we are avoiding details. Don't ask, don't tell, right?" Rick reminded Michonne of the stage she set.

"Right."

* * *

"Keep it up."

"It is up."

"Promises."

"Have I ever let you down."

"You are right. The reason why I married you."

"Really?" Rick feigned surprise by Michonne's response.

Michonne had Rick backed up against their Viking stainless steel refrigerator door with her face practically buried in his neck. She was wearing her rather sexy lingerie that was less risque but still enough to get his engine revving.

Rick had a to-do today list he had memorized, and for the life of him, he did not recall his wife being number one, two, three, or four. He wasn't going to complain. He was long overdue for some alone time with his sexy ass wife now that three kids were officially out of the house and their new baby was sleeping.

"Reason you married me was for a good night's rest." Michonne accused as she left love bites along his neck.

"What?" He was becoming more aroused by his wife's aggressiveness.

"You have been sleeping like a baby ever since."

"Ah, so true. I think you prefer me in a coma." He moaned.

"No, I don't. I much prefer when you're well-rested and fully participating."

"I have no idea what Mom and Dad are doing," Carlton shook his head.

"Oh my God, how did you guys get back here? Where is your Grandmother Ella and Senior?"

"Arguing in the car because Grandpa left his blood pressure pills here." Carlton provided the detail needed as to why he and his two sisters were back at home.

"Why would his blood pressure pills be here?"

"Daddy, why is Mommy all over you?" Abigail leaned forward, hoping to glean more information. She was not embarrassed to see her parents being frisky though Carlton and Judith were.

"Or what they are talking about," Judith added.

"What I said and what I meant was for your mother to understand. Like why was the door unlocked, Michonne?"

"You were the last to come in Rick."

"Because I was leaving to go back out and then..." Rick trailed off. He noticed the prescription bottle on the kitchen counter.

"Then what?" All three kids asked in unison.

"Only your mom's brain could provide a very imaginative story." Rick made sure he spoke directly to the back of Michonne's head. She was cognizant enough to keep his raging hard-on shielded from view and she too was aware of the prescription bottle on the counter.

"Ughh, story-time." Carlton rolled his eyes, grabbing his earbuds to block out the lies told by two adults who couldn't get their story together on any given topic concerning them, their behavior and who was the actual oops baby.

Now that his newest sibling Andre had arrived, Carlton tried to garner meaning behind the timeframe of six weeks. Something at the end of a month and a half kept his parents notably excited. Carlton believed the energy he felt from his Mom and Dad meant something like-Disney World. Where else would they find a real-life, Ariel?

"The reality is your father and I have been looking forward to some alone time spent together."

"So, we aren't going to Disney World?"

"Disney?"

Rick and Michonne failed to remember the context clues they were throwing and tossing at random whenever their kids would sneak up on them, getting hot and heavy with one another.

Michonne broke the news, "We are not going to Disney. We were at Disney six months ago. We did the whole Disney Cruise. You are to spend time at your Grandpa Senior and Grandma Ella."

"For how long?"

"A few days," Michonne informed her unsuspecting children how long their boredom was going to last.

There was a kick to the leather sofa. The force was enough to bring attention to Carlton lashing out. Defiance or any wild outburst caused a quick reprimand from their father if in any other situation. Luckily, for Carlton, his Dad was still dealing with an erection and the sudden appearance of their Grand Father Senior who was struck by Michonne's appearance and what she was wearing in the kitchen caused him to go flaccid.

"Make sense why my son keeps you knocked up, I see."

Rick stood in front of Michonne. "Really, Dad?"

"Well, it makes sense to me. She's making time for it. Take advantage while she's up to it and offers."

"Enough, Dad! Now get your pills and Carlton when you get back we will have a talk about your display a few seconds ago."

"Sorry, Dad." Carlton quickly apologized. Carlton knew his Dad would wait to scold him, and it would happen swiftly. There was a zero-tolerance in kicking. His mother made sure to drive the fact home by having her hand out for Carlton to hand over his headset and IPad over to Judith, who patiently waited for her brother to hand it over so she could get a job well-done smile from her mother. "Sorry, Mom."

"Your father and I are going to spend some time alone together. We've been planning this for a while. Your grandparents plan to keep you all entertained for the whole week we are gone. you are not going to need any gadgets."

"Let's get going so your parents can get back to what they do best. We don't Grandma Ella to see this. Don't be surprised kids if you end up with another little brother or sister later this year." Senior grabbed his prescription and ushered the children out.

* * *

"You've got our reservations?" Rick glanced over at his wife for confirmation.

"Of course I do. How long has it been?"

"Six weeks."

"Not that, silly. I'm talking about since we have gone to a hotel and, you know..."

"Never. Always been my place or yours. Mostly. Paris was on the water. Colorado ski lodge?"

"Cabin in the mountains isn't the same."

"I don't think it can be topped." Rick beamed.

"Oh, it can be topped," Michonne challenged.

"God, I'm so crazy about you."

Michonne giggled. She was no longer worried about the addition of their twins two years after Carlton was born. Children tend to change things between a couple but somehow for them, it challenged them to be more creative with their time they carved out for each other and how they communicated. He remained a willing participant to her imagination that sex could still be as amazing if not downright unique.

"I would have never imagined a one night-."

"Two nights." Michonne corrected.

"The ladies room."

"A couple of days you stayed at my place."

"Your surprise visit to my office."

"Ahhh. I think it was that. I think it was the blow job I gave you that sealed the deal."

"Or I'm just good in bed."

"You are a very good lay."

"So my cock was what hooked you?"

"I'm saying your dick proved to me your brain in your head controls your actions. I am very pleased to know you can discern between what is good and what is best."

"I'm in this for the long haul."

"Good to know four years a son and a set of twins later."

"Carlton was a big surprise."

"Unplanned."

"Unprevented."

"Glad you pointed that out to your parents when you did."

"If I hadn't?"

"Big problems, if you dare to imagine. I hold grudges like deodorant."

"I thought grudges were like toothbrushes."

"That too."

"Help me with the connection again."

"I will never forget to put deodorant on or to brush my teeth. I will never forget someone who has wronged me or didn't take up for me or..."

"Ahh. Okay. I had planned to marry you either way. Baby or no baby."

"Really?"

"Really! You were what I needed. I wasn't blind. I was a bit unprepared for how I felt about going to the next level at gestational speed. I am amazed I married a woman who had not once considered she was possibly pregnant. Not until eating a whole pumpkin pie and then puking it up at the mere suggestion from my mother that you might be pregnant."

* * *

They both remembered the date and place, if not the exact time. Michonne was openly flirtatious with him after a whole day of coming off cold and distant. Rick was determined to have a good time and make a good impression. Rick listened. He took note. He ate what was served without comment to what it was in its almost unrecognizable state. He didn't protest the extra helping of collard greens from Michonne, who helped him avoid having a room on his plate for a pig-foot Michonne's Uncle Charlie was determined for him to try.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm not sure if I need to lie down or throw up." Rick couldn't help feeling slightly sickened by what was served.

"Really?"

"It would have been fine if I tried one thing at a time. I can't believe I allowed my food to touch."

"I wasn't about to tell them about your unusual way of eating."

"I'm unusual?"

"Your eating would have been to them but not to me. You like what you like. I like you, and that is all that matters."

"You like me?"

"I do."

"Like?"

"Yeah."

"How many other men you've liked have been introduced to your family?"

"You are trying to get me to say it."

"I'm not trying to get you to say anything you don't mean, Michonne. I do want you to reevaluate how you feel about me, though."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I love you. I love you enough to kill you if you broke my heart. Are you happy now?"

"I'm more concerned."

* * *

"Can you tell me what happened between you and Jessie?" Rick had already made a call down to HR to prompt a job opening for an executive assistant.

Michonne was surprised that Rick called her up about his secretary. She was unaware that Jessie had quit but Michonne had an idea as to possibly why. She felt it only right to come clean. Michonne revealed what transpired between her and the natural blonde who was obviously blocking the wrong cock. Michonne did not like wondering if there was more between Rick and Jessie for his secretary to act very possessive of him. For all Michonne knew there could have been something more going on between Rick and Jessie behind the closed doors at Go Stop Insurance for all she knew. She just couldn't confirm it.

"I thought you swallowed!" Rick exclaimed.

"I spat in some tissue at her desk. Rubbed your semen all over the mouthpiece of her phone and earpiece."

The horror in Rick's voice was amusing, even how he downplayed the way their relationship rapidly progressed from casual to purposeful.

Michonne fought to keep her tone unaffected, "Anything you care to share?"

"We weren't serious then." Rick was evidently still appalled.

"We weren't?"

"What I mean, we weren't in a relationship. We were intimate, but we weren't specifically in a relationship until sometime later, after Paris. After-YOU-went on a date. What kills me is you were so relaxed about it. 'Sorry, Rick, but I have a date tonight. Maybe a rain check?' I didn't fucking sleep for two whole days over that shit, Michonne."

"Calm down. We are talking over four years ago. Do you think I would get upset over something that was before me?"

"There were women before you, Michonne." Rick resigned to admitting a fact he refused to elaborate on for no other reason than it just didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

"Who?"

Rick knew there was something Michonne was fishing for, and he planned to go to his grave with the truth. A truth that benefited no one nor his marriage. She wanted to know about the one time he fucked Jessie and how much he loved his ex-girlfriend, Lori. "None of them compare to you. None of them I married. None of them I have kids with or ever will. My children will have the same mother, and I plan to guarantee it when my wife tells me we have finished having more children, and that she doesn't want any more little me's and little hers to wake us up during all hours of the night."

Michonne knew this was Rick's way of broaching the topic of his secretly planned vasectomy. He had told her to get as many kids out of him while she could because once he torched the pipes, there would never be any more proficient swimmers. For Michonne, she found the procreating part to be an aphrodisiac. After a frenzied amount of lovemaking, he would always declare he had her pregnant and cause her to shiver out an unexpected orgasm. Would sex change?

They both were enjoying married condomless sex to a degree, and both planned at some point for tubal and snip. Neither were sure when to say when.

"I enjoy being pregnant. The first time. Not so much this second time."

"You were carrying around two babies."

"Had to take a sabbatical."

"It was needed."

"Don't know if I want to go back."

"But you plan to go back."

"I know."

"I support whatever you decide."

"I don't want to juggle."

"You don't have too."

"What does it say about me?"

"That you love your children. You love being a mother. You love them more than you ever imagined you could. Our children have changed you, and it isn't bad or a sign of being weak. Choosing to spend time with our kids as they grow makes sense. I'm on board if you want me to fire the nanny."

"Terminate. Severance package."

"Alright." Rick swallowed hard. He was avoiding Denise like the plague due to knowing his wife wanted to get rid of her because their two-year-old son Carlton was more attached to the nanny than his own mother.

"I will just have to be more selective of what cases I take."

"My mom would love to have the kids whenever."

"They are too young, Rick."

"Believe it, or not my mom gave birth to me and-"

"I get your point."

"We have to start using our extended family on both sides. Our children have grandparents that adore them. An aunt who would love to babysit. Shane. I trust him."

"I will trust him once are children can talk. Not one more word about Shane, please."

"Something you want to elaborate?" Rick was still suspicious.

"No. I am just overwhelmed with options."

"Underground Circus. We met there. We were in your penthouse for two whole days. Less than a week later, you were back at the Underground Circus to stalk me." Michonne remembered.

"Only because you didn't give me your real phone number when I had given you mine."

"You thought I was going to make it easy for you?"

"I did enjoy the sex in the female stall." Rick traveled back to that moment in time he was almost out of his mind in want of Michonne.

"You followed me out."

"I had my eye on you."

"Didn't seem like it."

"We didn't seem like a lot of things. I was open to the idea of you. Open enough to be whisked off to your place for a full day and a half. I had a list of questions, but I didn't dare ask. Did it bother you to find me still at your place when you got back?"

"I was distracted by the smell of food, a great choice in wine, and the fact you were kissing me back," Michonne admitted.

"I think I realized then you were a good catch because you appreciated my cooking, you know how to enjoy a good bottle of wine, and I like kissing the hell out of you too."

"Seriously, how do we tell our children the story about how we met without it being how we met?"

"Well, you have to let me know ahead of time, so we are on the same page." Rick insisted.

"I was thinking to go with we met at Shane's dance club. I thought you were handsome. You thought I was beautiful. You wanted to get to know me and asked if you could be my boyfriend."

Rick realized he was expected to have a response. He had paused for too long. He had Michonne's full attention, and when that happened, it wasn't a good thing. This topic was going to be a long, drawn-out conversation right before their bedtime.

She had stopped braiding her hair up for the night. She waited for approval.

"There's more to us and how we came to be. I am trying to get used to how bland you have just made the beginning of our relationship to suit the agenda of a man who wanted you for himself."

"Are you seriously challenging me right now, Mr. Grimes?"

"I am, Mrs. Grimes."

"I have no problem setting the record straight."

"I have no problem with you doing so."

"Alright."

"On speaker. Please."

"Okay." Michonne relented.

"Thank you."

Michonne dialed Shane, who had answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Blondie. What's up?"

"I will tell you exactly how Rick and I began and has everything to do with his long, thick, powerful hook he unleashed to catch a wonderful mermaid..."

"Rick, my friend, I know you are in the room. Tell your wife to stop prank calling. I knew she gave up the goods on the first night. I have accepted it. I was in denial for some time. You two created some great kids. Baby number five in the oven won't deter me, Rick. With you out of the picture, I plan to move right in and take over."

"Hang up." Rick was getting pissed off.

"Wait. I want to say something from the bottom of my heart. I want to say, I am honored you both allow me to be around your kids to get to know them and for them to get to know me. It says a lot that you've got me as their godparent if anything were to happen. That kind of trust means a lot to me. To know you trust me to keep them safe and out of harm's way makes me very very happy. I love you like a brother, man, even though I still want Michonne as my wife."

"Hang up." Rick sighed.

"Wait! Wait! She's your wife. I respect that. Keep her knocked up, my friend. It's a constant reminder of how I failed to realize how lucky I would have been if Michonne were really meant for me."

"Goodnight, Shane."

"Goodnight, Rick."

Michonne disconnected the call.

There was a long silence between Rick and Michonne. She finished braiding up her hair to eventually lie down next to her husband, who then turned out the lights.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Scheduling my vasectomy."

"I was thinking the same."

"My vasectomy?"

"No. Getting my tubes tied."

"We are done?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

They agreed, and there wasn't anything more to discuss that night.

* * *

A/N: This story goes with Blondie, and Natural Blonde. All three are connected.


End file.
